Thoughts on Love and Matter

The law of conservation of matter states that matter may neither be created nor destroyed. If my memory serves me, and in this case I believe it does, matter simply changes form. If one applies enough heat to wood it becomes carbon for example.

Love, too, is governed by this law. The energy is within us all along, a primal force waiting for release. Directed towards our family, friends, and lovers it serves a basic emotional human need; a connexion to the world and people around us. Within any given relationship this energy may constantly change forms. In my experience, however, such energy between lovers may have the tendency to transform more dramatically, unpredictably, and chaotically than in other relationships. For some, love turns to hate. In others like myself it may serve to feed into insecurity and self-doubt, as it is clutched in such a fearful iron fist that it is squeezed right through one's fingers. In its highest form, however, love transforms into love, and as of tonight I realize I have been blessed with this experience.

When love transforms into love in such a manner, the form it takes is less important than its presence. It flows like water, freely from cupped hand to cupped hand, with a complete absence of fear and judgment. It no longer needs to be justified or validated and exists only for the sake of its own existence. Friends to lovers, lovers to friends, the perameters of the relationship become transparent and unimportant. The only thing that matters is the loving energy that flows between two individuals.

Is this what I wanted? No. Is this where I thought we would wind up? No. Do I harbor (not so) secret hopes that the energy will one day flow back into the other cupped hand? Of course I do. Will it? I do not know. The knowing and the wanting, I come to realize, is unimportant. I find comfort in the knowledge that there is no love lost between us, and also from the realization that it has simply flowed into the other hand.